"Pilate saith unto him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again..."

Location: Tampa, FL, United States

Saturday, February 28, 2009

NFL Recovery Plan Approved

It’s surprising that NFL owners were throwing millions of dollars at free agents this past week when Barack Obama released a statement that his economic recovery plan has been approved by Congress to fix the NFL. As everyone knows the professional football industry is plagued with toxic assets—the Detroit Lions (0-16), St. Louis Rams (2-14) and Kansas City Chiefs (2-14). Millions of hard working, middle-class sports fans in these three cities are not able to find reasons to cheer, nor can their children cheer. The Congressional Budget Office has calculated that these 3 toxic franchises need an additional $100 million each to stimulate their upcoming draft, current rosters and free agent acquisitions. How will this be paid for? And how will this square with the promise to provide tax cuts to the 95% of hard working, middle-class players on the other 29 NFL teams? For that when turn to chapter 476 in the Obama NFL Recovery Plan, pg. 98,483. Section CMLVIII.

The nontoxic franchises will each contribute $50 million, with each franchise tapping their wealthiest players designated at http://www.whitehouse.gov/. The collected funds will be redistributed to the Lions, Rams and Chiefs with the $1 billion+ excess going to establish government services earmarked for managing the U.S. NFL Recovery Administration, creating 100,000 new jobs in the process.

Yes, ESPN analysts are calling this the nationalization of the NFL but as the noted Keynesian Ben Bernanke points out, “the federal government is not running the NFL but merely trying to unfreeze the credit markets that caused the toxicity in the poorer franchises, leading to the downturn in cheering in those cities.”

Others have voiced concern that the Seattle Seahawks (4-12), Cincinnati Bengals (4-11-1), Cleveland Browns (4-12) and Oakland Raiders (5-11) may default on their victories in 2009 to become eligible themselves for bailout dollars in 2010. Remarked Congresswoman Pelosi, “that’s the typical rhetoric you hear every time we try to stuff Omnibus bills full of pork to get re-elected. Americans love pork from their representative and resent it in others. It’s hypocritical, sure, but Americans will still sit idly by while we take $17 million from Ben Roethlisberger next year and ship it to the Rams. We’ll do the same with $13 million worth of Larry Fitzgerald’s $17 million contract. Are you telling me Larry can’t feed his family on $1.25 million a year after taxes? Come on. In fact, I wish the 49ers hadn’t gone 7-9 last year so we could have redistributed Larry's contribution to the patriotic residents of 8th district of the great, formerly-not-broke state of California.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell just announced ticket prices will increase 175% for each NFL franchise next year but expects prices to stabilize after that for the following 20 to 30 years.

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